Saturday, July 2nd, 2-5pm
$5-10 Suggested Donation
Okay, let’s admit it, at one time or another we’ve all said, yes when we wanted to say no, no when we wanted to say yes, and maybe when we really didn’t mean it. Also, at one time or another, we’ve pushed someone’s boundaries, invaded their personal space, went in for the hug without waiting, accepted a lukewarm yes, when we knew they didn’t mean it. Right? How did it leave us feeling? Angry at ourselves and the other, guilt-ridden, pissed off, remorseful. Why did we do it? Because neither culture nor family of origin taught us any better. As a matter of fact, they taught us how to go against our own boundaries, (if they taught us about boundaries at all!). They taught us to push for what we wanted (a “real man” would go for it, wouldn’t they?); they taught us how to be nice and not make waves (a “good girl” would not raise her voice or cause a scene); they taught us to use veiled language and maintain ambiguity and deniability.
Also, many of us have been taught that if a man really wanted someone, he would pursue them past their objections, and if the woman didn’t feign disinterest, she was likely a slut. It’s time for a change: the sexual revolution 4.0 is here! And we are armed with all the tools we need, to do it right this time. Or you will be after you take this class.
In this 2.5 hour session you will learn and practice the following:
- Learning what you want – Making a personal inventory of desires, fears, strengths and weaknesses
- Learning your boundaries – How to make a list of your “hard nos”, your “under theright circumstances” and your “hell yes-es”!
- Setting your boundaries – Where your line in the sand is, and where you want to test your own boundaries (maybe you don’ know how you feel about something until it happens.)
- Learn how to explore safely using safe words, changing your yes to a no, and giving and getting feedback.
- Getting consent – How getting unambiguous consent can protect you in many ways,
- Boundary violations and how to address them – Learn how to say no, gently and caringly yet with authority and finality, and how to deal with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries (dealing with it as it happens, reporting it, and finding support after the fact,
- Reclaiming your space – Physical maneuvers to evade: the unwanted hug, the stray hand in a snuggle, the person who doesn’t hear or respect your “no”, Using words, tone of voice, and screams to be heard and avoid all possibility of being misunderstood,
- Overcoming “freeze” – What to do it you freeze (fight, flight, or freeze response), and
- How to recognize that someone you are interacting with has frozen (usually caused by past trauma.)
This is a practical, hands-on class where we will discuss actual and theoretical situations, and give useful information for how to deal with them. Group exercises will be part of the class, and attendees are welcome to participate in them or abstain and observe.
Sex-Positive World (SexPositiveWorld.org) is a social community and a movement. We organize
public-interest seminars and workshops (usually on the subject of better sex and relationships), as well as social gatherings. We have chapters in 6 cities in the USA, and 4 cities in Europe. We believe that people of every gender are longing for more love, connection, touch, and pleasure in their lives. We know that sex-negativity has systematically robbed people of safe and healthy ways to get these needs met, and we know that there is much work to be done to reclaim sexuality as something natural, healthy, and beautiful. Helping people feel safe and empowered is key, and good boundaries are vital.
Together with a team of therapists and sex-educators SPW has developed a class with the aim to empower, teach strategy, find solutions, and make possible more love in the world.
Miriam is a health professional focusing on women’s health. Her experience with hundreds of patients give her a wealth of hands-on knowledge, and her persona experiences as a trauma survivor help her talk about this subject with unique empathy.
Cassie has over a decade of experience in public speaking. She has served as a grief-counseling volunteer in disaster areas such as NYC after 9-11, Northern Indonesia after the Boxing Day tsunami, and Louisiana in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Cassie believes that as a transwoman she brings unique insights into gender roles, attitudes and expectations.